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| This image has nothing to do with this post, peonies just make me happy! |
I went to work yesterday and worked from 730-530 and when I got home the kids told me I was in trouble for working so long. It seems I'm not the only one struggling with the fact that I will be returning to work permanently again soon. The two eldest have told me that they miss me too much when I am gone and that I am not allowed to work...
Good one kids, you sure do know how to pull on your Mothers heart strings now don't you?!
So, there seems to be two options that I need to choose from:
1. Do I want to not have to worry about and plan for bills and increase our savings faster? or
2. Do I want to continue to budget and plan down to the last cent of our income, whilst stay home and being accessible to the kids 100% of the time?
What would you choose? And don't worry, I know you can't answer it for me, I just needed to type these thoughts out in an effort to make them clearer in my mind...
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Such a HUGE questions!! I went back last year for 10 months. I found it exhausting and crashed out at the end of it. We've chosen for me to stay home until the girls are all at school - but we know we're very lucky to be able to make that choice without too much financial hardship. For me it came down to the fact that the girls will only be young for such a short time and I don't want to miss out. But it's a very personal decision and one you should fully supported in which ever way you go. Yep - that's no help at all :) Goodluck.
ReplyDeleteThanks Caz! I agree with everything that you wrote and that is pretty much the way I feel too.
DeleteDon't get me wrong, we wont be destitute is I don't go back, this would just be much more comfortable if I did.
Hey were you at DPCON12. Did I in fact have tea at your table? I'm so sorry if that was you. A lovely friendly person kept smiling at me - but I couldn't place them. I'm just a tad ditherery at times. I didn't want to admit I couldn't place them :?
ReplyDeletehaha! No, sorry that wasn't me. I didn't end up going. I had planned too but hubby is in a new role at the moment at work and I he couldn't take time out to be home with the kids so I had to pull out.
DeleteBig question... If it was me, I'd work, but my kids older (well, our youngest is three...) and my husband can't seem to get any work and trying to budget (and savings are just a pipe dream) is seriously stressful, so for me I imagine working would be the less stressful option. I have really enjoyed being home while the kids were little and if my husband could get a job I would probably opt to stay home... It's such a personal choice, isn't it - there are so many variables to consider! I sense you're leaning towards option 2 though, and I totally get that, too!
ReplyDeleteThe one piece of advice that a friend of mine gave me when I was contemplating the same decision was to be proud of whatever decision you make. It really helped me move on from all the guilt and stress and focus on what was important to me and my family. Good luck with your decision.
ReplyDeleteFirst time around I returned to work full time (I cried the day I finidhed to go on maternity leave, I knew I would miss work so much), this time prior to going on leave I was approved to return three days a week, with two little ones I knew full time would be too much of a stretch.
ReplyDeleteMy husband now has a dfferent job, and the position we are in is different to what it was, where if I don't want to have to return to work, it will not be as much of an issue. Looking at my baby knowing he is our last does make it more difficult as I just want to savour everything, but I know I want to return to work. I enjoy it and have never once felt "mothers guilt" about it.
I think the fact my father died, and my mother had to return to work when I was young also influences my decision. She had experience as her and my father owned a business and in the time she was out of the paid work force, computers, mobile phones and fax machines all came into play. In keeping in the work force I feel more secure in knowing I am keeping my skills up to date.
Plus I see work as a bit of me time, I get lunch, I get to go to the toilet in peace, people listen to me (sometimes) no one yells at me, pulls my hair or throws up on me.
As I said I never felt guilty returning to work full time, it was exhausting and there was never a minute to spare. I was lucky to have good boss (makes it all easier, when you walk in the office covered in vomit saying I can't come into cause bub threw up just as I was dropping him off and you are in the middle of organising a big event for that week) and work close to home.
Whatever you choose has to be right for you and your family.
I work - always have - had my 12 months maternity leave and gone back to work - no questions about it - but I'm the main income earner. I really struggled working part-time to start with - I didn't feel like a SAHM and I didn't feel like an employee. It took me a few months to get the hang of it! But now I woulnd't change it (well sometimes I see all the Mums off to the gym after school drop off and feel a bit jealous!!). But given I have to work I've found the good bits about it. I enjoy having some 'me time' to use my brain, have adult interaction and go out for lunch and I think it makes me a better Mum for it. And I truely think we spend more quality time together not being together all the time. We make more of an effort.
ReplyDeleteI'm lucky my work is flexible so I don't feel I'm missing out on things - I can get to important events like assembly, sports day, excursions etc
Good luck with your decision!