Pregnancy Update: 30 Weeks

Yep, 30 weeks and I've lost my mind. B's been working A LOT lately and it's really getting to me. I'm just tired and starting to get anxious about having to leave town and travel to Perth to have the baby.

I really don't want to have to leave town, but I don't have a choice. Regional health in Western Australia really does suck. I mean, they kick you out of town at 36 weeks and give you very few options for health care.

I could go to Port Hedland, but the price of accommodation for ONE MONTH there is just ridiculous. I mean, we could go on an overseas holiday for the price of staying there. And what on earth would I do in Port Hedland for that long?? So Perth seemed like the best option. I mean I do have family there and there is plenty of things to do whilst I'm down there twiddling my thumbs waiting for baby to arrive, but seriously I just want to be able to sleep in my own bed every night and see my kids every day.

I'm going to miss Caden's 8th birthday and I think that is what is getting to me the most. I shouldn't EVER have to miss any of my kids birthdays, but because WA Health in all their wisdom have decided that you can no longer have babies in this town I have to miss his birthday and be away from the eldest two for at least two weeks.

And I really just want to be with B in the final weeks of this pregnancy too. Not 1600kms away!
All of this is messing with my mental health and I'm really starting to worry about what this is all doing to my chances of having PND again.

I'll be speaking to my GP when I see him again in 2 weeks, but there is nothing he can do about it. It would just be silly for B and the kids to come down with me at 36 weeks because that would mean that he would be wasting his holidays. It would be better for him to use his holidays for when the baby is actually born.

Oh and images like this are freaking me out too. I know I've done it all before be jeepers something that big coming out of there? It's equal parts amazing and OUCH.

So I guess that's 30 weeks.

The doubt is creeping in

{found here}

I have 4 posts saved as drafts that need to be edited and just no ambition to actually do it.

They are giveaway/review posts they need to be done soon. But right now I have so much stuff on my plate that I decided I wouldn't blog today, but then I missed it so thought maybe I would just come and write some dribble. I am good at rambling, not saying much and all, just typing for the sake of typing.

I have so many blogging goals, and I am reaching some of them, but I still don't really know where I want to take this baby of mine. I love the community that I have become a part of. I love that I have met new people because of this blogging thing. But at the same time, I still feel like I don't fit in. But that is the story of my life, I have never really felt that I fitted in. Not funny enough, not tall enough, not slim enough (and now, nowhere near slim at all). You get the drift. So this week I am really doubting myself. I know why my head is like this though. I have just been so busy and not sleeping so it is starting to get to me.

Anyway, what have you been up to?

Have you been bitten by the procrastination bug like me?

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Who knows, I might even finish all the posts and schedule them so I don't have to think about them anymore!