Taking Care of YOU

How do you take care of yourself when everyone needs something from you but there is nothing left to give?

Sometimes we just can't get a break from the kids and sometimes we need just that. It doesn't mean that you love your kids any less, but to be there for them and be the best mother you can be you NEED to do things for yourself occasionally (or often!)

Some things you can do that don't require leaving the house are:

• Read a book
• Make a cup of tea/coffee and drink it in the sunshine
• Simply go outside- As above, sunshine will help!
• Call a friend
• Put on some cream/lotion- You'll be surprised how much this simple thing helps lift your mood.
• Turn on some music
• Take some time to enjoy your hobby- Lately for me that means picking up my crochet hook and making something. I'd like to be sewing but right now crochet is the most portable of my hobbies and I can do a little bit without having to pull a heap of stuff out. 

And above all please remember that you do not have to compare yourself to anybody else. It is OKAY to feel broken and defeated. We are only human. Just because someone appears to be managing it all, doesn't mean they are. 

Because honestly, at the moment I am more than tired – I am parenting on empty. I'm forgetting things like there is no tomorrow and my temper is shorter than short. But there are no sick days when you're a mum, there’s always more to do. But it's times like these when I really need to step back from a few commitments and take some time for me. Because if I don't everything WILL fall apart sooner rather than later. 

Have you been there too?  At that point when you finally break and see that you MUST take care of yourself?

So is this it...

...are you finally stopping? Is 4 it? Are you done having babies?

I don't know about you but I find that statement very personal and not one I like talking about much with other people besides my husband.

Yet I've been answering it a lot lately, mostly with a shrug of shoulders and a vague response because I'm really not keen on the further questions or strange looks when I say the truth.

And the truth is that I don't think I'm done, but it is something B and I will discuss at a later date and not something I will air to all and sundry because like Jim Gaffigan says,

"Large families are like waterbed stores, they used to be everywhere but now they're just weird."

And that's pretty much how we felt for most of my pregnancy with Darcy's- instead of just being met with congratulations when we announced my pregnancy there was an overwhelming wave of uncertainty from people about how they should respond, many questions of was he planned and the like.

Don't get me wrong, many people DID congratulate us and to them I am forever grateful that they could share our joy without judging us on the size of our family. But the others that had to question our pregnancy, well I'm still holding onto that disappointment that they couldn't just be happy for us. But that's not something I can help, well it is, I can let go of the disappointment, but I can't change their views on the number of kids I should and do have. After all they aren't the ones parenting my children, I guess I just don't understand why how ever many kids I have bothers some people so much. Just because they personally wouldn't choose to have four or more kids doesn't mean that I shouldn't.

Do you get questions about the size of your family? How do you respond?