This post is going to be all over the place, I'm sorry. Also this post may contain triggers for those of you suffering depression. I will try to steer clear of this but want to include this warning just in case.
For those of you that don't know, I suffered from Post Natal Depression after Ethan's birth and still have periods of anxiety. Well anyway I had to work yesterday and for some reason I ended up working with some one I haven't worked with before. I don't know them well at all. He only asked my name last week so I am not exactly known to him either. It was about 3 hours into the day and all of a sudden he started talking about how his son tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago. I responded how anyone would respond in the situation and offered my condolences and said that I hoped his son had a good doctor that he was comfortable with and that I hoped they all had the support that they needed.
He responded by telling me that his son tried to do it the wrong way and that he should have just gone for a drive and hit an oncoming truck...
He went on to detail how he would kill himself. He even went on to detail why he would do it that way so his wife would still get the life insurance. I tried my best to be polite and compassionate and then was able to excuse myself so that I could talk to management about the situation.
The thing is, all his descriptions and words yesterday have flared up my anxieties. I am worried beyond belief about what he thinks of my actions after what he said to me. I am worried that he has said the same things to younger staff members.
I understand exactly what he was saying yesterday because those were my thoughts when I was suicidal. I wanted to end my own life in the same way.
I can't stress enough that I not at risk. But I the whole thing has made me very anxious and don't know what to do from here.
Have you ever been in that situation. What would you have done?
Wow AMy - this is really hard stuff to hear isn't it? You did the right thing by speaking to the manager, maybe you could speak to your manager again and urge him to suggest ringing mensline or life life or something similar. If you are feeling strong enough to, maybe you could even speak to your colleague yourself with these suggestions - remember asking R U OK? May save a life....These conversation are not comfortable, not nice to have but unfortunately society's avoidance of things that are not nice sometimes cost lives....We want our kids to grow up being able to reach for help when they need it, so we need to change the way for them and make it a good thing to ask R U OK? Well done Amy, keep moving forward with this. It has come your way and it's part of your journey, make it a stop that you feel proud of your own actions.
ReplyDelete