I am a bit sensitive this morning after working a fair bit in the last few days. I work in the customer service area as a supervisor and well that role means I deal with a lot of people every shift. Be that other staff and the many many customers that come through the doors. It also means that I feel increasingly self conscience when someone zeros in on the huge zit that has just erupted from my jaw line, or the stray hair that I missed in a plucking session before going to work.
Try as I might a lot of my symptoms are visible to the outside world, but they are also symptoms that are viewed as 'ugly' by the world. Which makes my anxiety about the issues so much worse.
I have felt very very anxious about my facial hair and acne lately. On the school run, at work, even just talking to friends. Most of them don't know that I do have PCOS and that currently my symptoms are pretty bad even though I am treating them. You might also remember my post from a few weeks ago about the radio announcers ridiculing the women with a 'beard', well that is still playing on my mind too. Do people say that about me when I am not around. Have I missed that stray hair this morning? What exactly do they see when they look at me?
It is just a none stop circle of thoughts going around and around in my head. I wish I knew how to stop it but I don't...
{{hugs}} Amy. Sometimes, we are our own worst enemy. But you know that, because you're writing about your struggle. Keep going, you'll get to the other end, and the journey will be worth it. I'm cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteThanks Cate! That means a lot xx
ReplyDeleteHugs , I hope it settles down.
ReplyDeleteI worked with a lady who I am sure she had PCOS (+ infertility). She only worked
nightshift I think to avoid people. By morning she had a beard again like a 5 o clock shadow.
Mine isn't that bad. No 5 o'clock shadows happening here, but I am still self conscience about it... Thanks for your comment Trish!
DeleteAmy I agree with Cate, sometimes we are our worst enemy and over think things. A little mindful meditation maybe to calm the nerves? If it makes you feel any better I have a huge scratch/scab on the centre of my face between my eyebrows! So bad! We all have our moments of feeling a little crappy!
ReplyDeletex
Thanks Tahlia, some mindful meditation would probably do me the world of good. I have been slack with that lately!
DeleteOuch at your scab/scratch. Was it a child inflicted injury? Ethan head butted me a few weeks ago and I ended up with a busted lip!
Amy x
Amy, this must be so hard sometimes. Just remember that everyone needs a t-shirt with their own insecurities written on it. Everyone worries about something. And the best bit is, we are all so worried about what's written on our own t-shirt that we hardly notice what's written on everyone else's. x
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Bron! And you are so right.
ReplyDeleteYour T-Shirt should say- thoughtful and wise ;)
x
Oh sweetie, your inner beauty shines through the bloggersphere, I can only imagine how lovely and genuine you are in real life xxx
ReplyDeleteI think that if you greet people with a lovely smile and treat them nicely then I don't think they really notice the things that we perceive as imperfections about ourselves. I have days where I feel self conscious about things and wonder if other people focus on that. But it would be a very shallow person to do that and not someone you should care about their opinion anyway. Keep smiling, I think you look just fine.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that Amy. I have problem with acne and facial hair too but don't have PCOS. I'm all over the place as I'm becoming menopausal. There's always something that's not quite right with our bodies. I've given up on wondering what other people think. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteAnne xx